Helping Hands and Healing Hearts  by Bill Estes

Knock down surgeries only happen to others, never ME!  One extra blip on an EKG at a June 2009 physical followed by a Sonogram and a MRI changed all that … I’d had a “silent” heart attack that left a hole in my heart, which, fortunately for me, was covered by a hen’s egg sized aneurysm.

I needed major surgery, but I also had a lot of concerns.   How would my elderly mother get back and forth to Duke to see me during the 6 day ICU stay?  How would I deal with an initial recovery period of 45 days during which time I cannot drive nor lift more than 10 pounds, but am required to walk several miles a day?

I asked for help from the Contra Dancers Care Circle from my Triangle Contra Dancers (TCD) community.  I watched these helping hands and their open hearts organize into a team of dancers and other friends (whom I chose).  They took care of me by meeting the needs I told them were important and they wanted to do.

On August 19, 2009, Duke surgeons:  sawed my chest open, cut away the bulging aneurysm and plugged its hole with a GoreTex® blowout patch, installed a polyester valve seat (my nearby mitral valve was leaking), replaced a clogged fuel line (bypassed an artery), topped off the fluids (blood after some leaking had stopped), and installed transistorized ignition (or PaceMaker® because my heart’s rhythm never stabilized).  If I had been a car, then I could have been driven to San Diego.  Good to go!

Not good to go by a long shot, I was more like helpless and vulnerable!  So, what did my team do that healed my heart?  They took care of me by helping meet my physical and emotional needs. 

On surgery day, a teamster got up at 4 am to drive my mother and me to Duke by 5:30 am so that I didn’t have to worry about driving over to Durham.  Team members drove my mom back and forth to Duke while I was in the ICU for 6 days.  Teamsters dropped by my house to make sure my mother was doing well, drove her to get groceries, and cleaned a bathroom that she was unable to tidy.  Several teamsters dropped by to visit me in the ICU, sharing a joke and a smile.  A teamster brought me home after discharge.

In the ensuing 45 day restricted recovery period, teamsters:  brought meals, especially in the first 14 days when I was largely helpless; came by each evening to walk with me as I struggled to get up to miles per day; took us grocery shopping; took us to doctors’ appointments; took my mother to the hairdresser; took us to see friends; brought over and shared meals, went out with us to restaurants for meals and conversation,  drove us to Weaver Street breakfast gatherings, and drove me to a TCD Carrboro dance before I could dance. Team members also encouraged me with emotional strokes, like ‘ … you are walking faster today’ or ‘ you don’t seem as tired today’.

I find it difficult to sum up how my team helped in my healing, but I will try.  By removing worries and anxieties, by providing emotional strokes, and by taking over the physical nuts and bolts of daily living, I was left with one task:  to concentrate on getting well and following doctors’ orders.  From an ex-scientist accustomed to measuring all things, it was incalculable, likely infinite; but, I know it worked!

My Contra Dancers Care Circle Team helped me heal my heart.  I am grateful to have such a caring and concerned community of friends.